Evolution

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( Cardigan; Forever 21 , Skirt; Vintage , Crop Top ; Similar , Shoes; Similar  , Jewelry ; inherited, Record ; Amazon )

I wish I had a valid reason as to why I stopped blogging, but I don’t.  Blogging just isn’t a priority for me, it never has been really.  The last six or seven months of my life have been dedicated to dance and school, leaving me little time to even think about blogging. And honestly I don’t know if I even want to blog anymore. I started this blog with the intention of covering Fashion Week collections.  But very few designers’ collections have inspired me recently. I can barely muster up enough energy to go through the lookbooks on Style.com.  To me it feels like most designers either put out collections that feel familiar or are familiar. As much as I appreciate minimalism, it feels like almost every single designer on my radar for the last couple of years has created one minimalistic collection after another.

I actually wasn’t sure if I ever planned to blog again until my best friend took these photos over spring break. We found a deserted park and I tried to channel Stevie Nicks to the best of my ability, hence the the Rumours record and the velvet skirt. Unfortunately I don’t think I executed it well, I just looked very moody and conflicted in these.  I only bothered putting on eyeliner and lipstick in an effort to look somewhat presentable. About six months ago I wore fifties style dresses and red lipstick religiously. Now I’ve shifted to plum and maroon lipstick and moodier outfits. The entire process of getting dressed has changed a lot for me now. There are days where I have the energy to wear a full face of makeup and days where I don’t bother wearing anything but lipstick. Previously I had four or five products I used everyday and was loyal to but recently I’ve started experimenting with different makeup and skincare companies. I don’t think I’m really loyal to any products right now but my moisturizer and my makeup remover.  I almost feel as if I’ve started from square one since I have no set routine. I do miss liking the feeling of getting ready, I’ve felt so bored with it recently which is why I’ve been trying out so many different products. Unfortunately boredom can be expensive, I’ve spent more on skincare products and makeup in the last couple of months than I had in four or five years.

This blog hasn’t exactly turned out how I expected. For one thing I didn’t realize how hard it is to blog about clothing.  On the rare occasions that my outfits and makeup still look immaculate by the end of the day I usually have to drag out my tripod and take my own photos.  I also expected to post about trends in clothing, which was foolish because I rarely, if ever pay attention to trends in clothing. I might admire trends but usually the way I dress is inspired by previous decades.  For the most part I don’t quite know where I’m going with this blog. I was 13 when I created it, I’m now 15. I would hope that I’ve since evolved as a person. I used fashion as a source of escape, something I don’t have to do constantly now. As much as I still love fashion I’m no longer obsessed with it. I have a feeling this blog will become a place for my musings on feminism and beauty and skin care instead.  I’m thinking of discontinuing it, it almost feels like reading your teenage diary. The URL especially is cringe-worthy. But at the same time I’m oddly proud of this blog. The content is lacking and I don’t feel like much of it accurately represents me but it is probably the first major part of my life that has nothing to do with anyone’s opinion but my own. And despite the fact that most of my posts have been questionable, it is mine and no one else’s.

-Shifa